Mailmare
by AuthorGenesis
Summary: Derpy gets a job at Ponyville Post Office, and hurts a famous pony on the first day of the job.


Derpy hummed in the shower, cleaning herself up for her interview later that morning. The calendar had Post Office Interview at 9:00 A.M. circled in a bright red highlighter marker. "Ooh, I really hope they'll hire me. I don't know what I'll do if I can't get this job. I certainly don't want the Equestrian Social Services branch in Ponyville to decide that I'm incapable of caring for my precious Muffin." Derpy muttered to herself, as she relished in the hot water pelting her body, the heat seeping through her pelt, relaxing her taut muscles somewhat. She lathered her loofah with her favorite scented Head and Hocks shampoo. Rainy Evergreen Forest, it actually smelled like a wet evergreen forest would smell after a rain, but without the stickiness of the sap, prickliness of the needles, or the dangers of being in a forest in a storm. She then soaped up her mane and tail, lathering both of them, until they felt like the softest and smoothest spun gold silk.

She dried her mane, tail and coat off, and briefly contemplated a breakfast of muffins. The derped-eye mare sighed, opting to not eat breakfast, considering that if she didn't get this job, she'd have to eat less, just so that Dinky wouldn't go hungry. "I'm too nervous to be hungry." She rationalized. She brushed her teeth with Colgate's Fresh Mint toothpaste, and washed the foamy cleanser out of her mouth. She then swirled some of Barnyard Bargain's brand mint flavored mouthwash, before going to her bedroom to don on some interview clothes.

She selected a smart looking creamy colored blouse, fumbling a few times with the buttons, before getting them to all thread through their respective holes, then she selected a cinnamon reddish-brown overcoat, wriggling her wings through the holes needed for pegasi clothing and buttoning the overcoat in the front. She looked at herself in the mirror, trying to decide if there was anything else she might want to do before she head out for her interview. She pinned back the unruly bangs of her mane with a cherry blossom decaled hair clip, three small blossoms interspaced evenly on the hairclip, the petals almost hiding the metallic base they were attatched to.

"Alright, time to go." Derpy pep talked to herself, a resolved and determined glint in her eyes.

{Later, towards the end of the interview}

Parcel Post, looked over her application for employment, as he dispassionately continued. "And finally Miss Hooves; why should we hire you as a mail pony for Ponyville Post Office?"

"Well, I really enjoy interacting with other ponies and I feel that their experience with the Post Office and its mail ponies ought to be a positive and pleasant experience. Like getting to see a friend or a good neighbor."

"I've talked with your previous employers and while they spoke well of your work ethics, I'm informed that you have a concerning amount of mishaps and accidents. The ponies of Ponyville's Post Office, frequently deliver fragile mail. It's really concerning for me as a prospective employer."

Derpy closed her eyes, awaiting a rejection for her application for employment. The silence seemed to last for minutes, hours, weeks even, though it really had been only several minutes.

"But well, just because you're clumsy, I don't see anything else that could be problematic in hiring you. You're medical results indicated that you weren't taking illegal substances, and the physical tests shows a pony at the peak of her health. So let me be the first to welcome you to the team, Miss Derpy Hooves." .

Derpy woodenly shook the elderly stallion's hoof, still disbelieving that she had an actual job! "Thank you! Thank you so much!"

"Of course, Miss Hooves. You will arrive here at six sharp to begin your route. And I think you should deliver the parcels separately from the paper mail."

"Yes Sir!" Derpy agreed, just grateful to even have a job, not knowing the trials and tribulations which lay ahead of her.

{The next day}

"Okay, here is a map with your route highlighted. Once you're finished with delivering the paper mail, come back for the parcels and deliver them too." Parcel Post instructed, settling a pair of mailbags over her flanks.

"Of course! You can count on me, Mister Post, Sir!" Derpy saluted.

"Just Parcel is fine, Miss Hooves. Also, I've never served in the Equestrian Guards, so there's no need to salute me."

"Okay." She trotted down, as she started on her new mail route."

{Later, about midafternoon}

Derpy was struggling to help move some parcels that a Mister Filthy Rich had ordered, and unable to right the cart in time, the parcels slipped out of the back of the delivery wagon.

Cries of pain and agony could be heard from Twilight Sparkle, as she was hit with a flowerpot, then an anvil, then a cart full of haybales and finally an upright piano.

Derpy quickly landed the cart. "Quick, go to the hospital, and tell them to bring the emergency wagon!" She informed the other pegasus mare, Bon Voyage, who wasted no time flying as quickly to the hospital as she could.

Derpy, meanwhile moved to remove the debris from the poor unfortunate pony beneath. The wrecked piano wasn't too difficult for the mare to move, nor were the cart or haybales. She ended up using a leverage with a rock and a plank of wood to topple the anvil from off of Miss Twilight. She swept aside the broken pottery and dirt from atop Twilight's mane, the unconscious mare lying in a perfect indent of her body. "Ooh, where are those EMTs? Shouldn't they be here by now?"

Just as she finished saying this, the medical wagon showed up, a pair of EMT pegasi unhitching themselves from the emergency cart. "What happened?" Cosmic, a pegasus stallion inquired.

"We were moving some parcels for delivery to Mister Filthy Rich, when the wagon became unstable, and the parcels hit Miss Twilight! She was hit with a flowerpot first, then an anvil, then a cart full of haybales, and finally an upright piano!"

"Hoo boy. Alright Great Scott! Let's get her on the stretcher, and to Ponyville Hospital A.S.A.P!" Cosmic cried.

"Yes!" Great Scott replied, before opening the back of the wagon and pulling out a stretcher.

"Aright, let's just slide it under her, moving from the back to her front." Cosmic instructed.

"You just want to get a glimpse of her plot." Great Scott teased.

"... ." Cosmic deadpanned. "Yes, I like to fuck recently deceased mare plots. No, you moron, I'm trying to save her life!"

"Luna's teats, sorry!" Great Scott apologized, regretting his attempt at humor. The two EMTs slid the stretcher beneath Twilight and gently loaded her onto the emergency wagon. One of them rotating what looked like pole clamps, to ensure that the stretcher didn't move. Then he also reharnessed himself to the wagon, and soon they were on their way to the hospital.

"I should let Spike know and inform Twilight's closest friends." Derpy muttered, downcast that her mishap had hurt a nice pony, well any pony for that matter. Derpy did like how Twilight was always quick to suggest a story book that was appropriate to Dinky's reading level.

{Later}

It was nearly sundown when Derpy had finished her parcel deliveries, delayed briefly due to informing Spike, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity that Twilight had been sent to the hospital. Then she came home, finding Dinky doing her homework, and she put together a jiffy meal of sandwiches and Au Gratin flavored hay chips.

"Dinner's ready, Muffin!"

"Okay Mommy!" Dinky replied, putting her homework materials back into her saddlebags. Noticing her mother's dejected appearance, she asked. "What's wrong Mommy?"

"I hurt a pony today. I didn't mean to, but it still happened." Derpy replied, after taking a bite from her hay bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich.

"Did that pony die?" Dinky asked worriedly.

"I- I don't know yet, Muffin." Derpy replied. "I'm going to go to the hospital to visit her after supper. Do you mind coming with me, Dinky?"

"No. I hope she feels better soon." Dinky replied.

{Later at the Hospital}

"You! How dare you show your face around here after what you did to Twilight!" Rainbow Dash roared, getting up in Derpy's face, and pressing her forehead against Derpy's in a show of aggression.

"I never intended to hurt her! Please, believe me. The last thing I wanted was for anypony to get hurt!" Derpy cried, tears starting to stream down her muzzle.

"Oh sure. An apology will make it all better!" Rainbow Dash cried angrily.

"Hush now, Rainbow Dash! Can't you see that she feels terrible enough as it is?" Rarity admonished, her magic enveloping the brash pegasus and placing her a few hooflengths away.

"Aren't you upset that Twilight's hurt because of her?" Rainbow argued.

"No, because it was an accident, Rainbow Dash. I'm sad that Twilight was hurt, and I do hope that Derpy will have learned her limits and not try to move more than she is able. But it was an honest mistake. Kind of like when you damage windows and houses, because you can't stick a landing. We know you don't mean to do it on purpose, darling. The scale might be larger on this, or maybe it's more personal because it's happening to a friend, but that doesn't change that they were unintended accidents."

"You just had to bring that up, didn't you?" Rainbow Dash pouted, crossing her forelegs and turning her back to Rarity.

"I'm just making a point Rainbow Dash. Nopony's perfect. Ponies make mistakes. It's important that we learn to forgive each other when we messed up. Derpy messed up, but she didn't have malicious intents when the accident happened." Rarity explained to her rainbow-maned friend.

"Don't you care that Twilight's hurt?" Rainbow Dash groused.

"I do, darling. I'm sorry that she's hurt. But I'm not going to make a pony that already feels terrible about hurting our friend feel even worse by holding a grudge against her." Rarity reasoned.

"Ugh! Fine. I'm sorry for making you feel bad, Derpy."

"I forgive you, Rainbow Dash. Forgive me for hurting Twilight." Derpy hung her head before Rainbow Dash, in a gesture of remorse and regret.

"Cheer up, Mommy!" Dinky nuzzled her mother, trying to make her feel better."

"Thanks Dinky." She smiled gently, before becoming serious once again. She looked to Applejack. "Have you heard any news? Will she be alright?"

Applejack shifted, looking uncomfortable.

"The doctors want to keep here for awhile, because from their examination, she's suffering from severe traumatic brain injuries." Fluttershy spoke up, seeing that Applejack didn't feel too comfortable about telling Derpy about the harm she'd caused to Twilight.

"Oh no." Derpy covered her mouth with both of her forehooves, her eyes widening in shock.

"You should totally stay with us! We can sleep here at the hospital and throw Twilight a 'get well soon' party!" Pinkie cheered.

"Would you girls mind if I stayed with you?" The other five mares shaking their heads. "No." They replied, nearly simultaneously.

Derpy, feeling exhausted, reclined in one of the hospital chairs, while Dinky curled up in her forelegs, and it wasn't too long before a group of mares joined them in slumber. Waiting with hope that their friend would make a full recovery.


End file.
